I never dreamed I would want something so badly and not be able to achieve my desire. I had been married previously and had a son, whom is now 9 years old. So, when I met my DH, I never pondered the thought of whether or not we could have children. I just took for granted that since I already had a child, that I could easily have another with my current DH. Wow, was I in for a big surprise!
I was 23 when DH and I met. DH was 37. He had been married twice before we met and had no children as the result of those marriages. I probably should have caught a hint, but I didn't. I just figured that his ex-wives weren't ready to be parents and so, maybe had been on birth control pills.
DH and I were married 4 months after we met. We instantly fell in love with each other and were married the day before my birthday . DH bonded immediately with my son, who was only 2 at that time. I was really glad of that, since my son's biological father passed away in June of 1993. DH adopted my son just shortly thereafter.
In the meantime, we decided to try to conceive a sibling for our son. I had no idea what I was in for. We tried SO hard!!!!!! It was a nightly ritual for 2 years! Until I finally came to my senses and realized something had to be wrong. It only took me 6 months to conceive my first child, and that was without trying! So, I scheduled an appointment with a Reproductive Endocrinologist to see what our problem was. I sort of had a feeling that my DH had a problem since neither of his ex-wives had become pregnant during the course of their marriages. Turned out I was right.
First thing the RE did was order a semen analysis on my husband. He also took all of my cycle history and asked a lot of questions pertaining to my first pregnancy. According to the information that I gave him, he didn't suspect that I had anything wrong. When the semen analysis results came back, the nurse called me. Her exact words were......."he has a very low count, and what sperm he does have are either dead or not moving". I was not surprised to hear the results, as a matter of fact, I was kind of relieved to know it was him and not me. Of course at the time, I didn't know that male infertility was so difficult to treat.
We scheduled another appointment with the RE to see what treatment options were available. Our options were a trial of Clomid, to try and raise the count, IUI with donor sperm, or ICSI. We knew there was no way we could afford ICSI, and IUI with donor sperm hadn't been discussed yet, so we opted for the trial with Clomid, since DH took in another semen sample and the RE said that 50% of them were motile.
The Clomid didn't work. We scheduled yet another appointment with the RE and decided to try IUI with donor sperm. I had two IUI's in one cycle. Cost well over $1200.00 for sperm, ultrasounds, and office procedures. The cycle was a failure and we couldn't afford to try again. Our insurance covered nothing related to infertility. So, we decided that since DH had some sperm and 50% were motile, we would continue trying at home, only taking extra measures to insure high count and motility and making sure we didn't lose any of the semen (vitamins, pillow under my hips, cotton undies, etc.).
I also bought the "How To Get Pregnant With the New Technology" book by Dr. Sherman Silber and studied it exclusively for ways we could increase our chances. Dr. Silber said in his book that a low sperm count didn't necessarily indicate infertility in a man, but rather indicated that it may take longer to conceive. And he had lots of stories of couples achieving results with a very low sperm count! So, this gave me a whole bunch of false hopes and dreams. I really enjoyed the book, but it lead me to believe that my husband didn't really have a problem, and that if everything was right with my cycle and all of my hormones were in place, we would eventually get pregnant! Well, we didn't get pregnant!
We never returned to the RE's office because we already knew our options and our insurance had not changed. While waiting to decide what to do next, I continued to take in all the information I could find about infertlity. I posted on several message boards and took part in numerous chats. Still, I felt so hopeless in our dream to conceive....... I became disinterested in sex, I was depressed, I had no desire to do anything. The only thing I thought about was getting pregnant.. The desire I had just would not go away. I tried to forget about it and except the fact that we would not have anymore children, but after a while that desire came back and was stronger than ever! This time I was determined to treat myself. That's when I began my search for a private donor online, and YES I found one! I now have new hopes and dreams, and I know conception may soon become a reality! I am currently on my 2nd cycle using donor sperm. I will update our story as our Journey continues....
Well, my second cycle wasn't successful. Neither was my third. I usually ovulate between cycle day 15-17. I have been using Lifecycle fertility software and this month it predicted ovulation on day 16, when in fact I ovulated on day 14. So, it's no wonder this cycle was a bust. I also do bbt, which didn't help this month, as I had a slow rise pattern. I am beginning to think that I'm not ovulating that great at times. I have very painful ovulation, only this past cycle I didn't. But I think I know why! I began to have ovulation pains on the morning of the 14th day..... the pains were getting pretty bad, however, I still thought ovulation was a couple of days away, so I took two ibuprofen tablets! My pain ended, but my temperature didn't rise for 3-4 more days. I really think the ibuprofen interfered with my ovulation. So be careful! AF knocked down my door on cycle day #29, so I also had a shorter than usual cycle. My cycles are most always 30-31 days long.
I am now taking vitex to help balance my hormones and in hopes it will strengthen my ovulation. I take 400 mg. every morning. I won't be taking the ibuprofen again that's for sure! I am now on cycle day #3 and patiently awaiting my next try. I anticipate ovulation to occur on or around cycle day #15-17, which will be January 3rd, 4th, or 5th.
Well, cycle four is complete. I did insems on days 15 and 16. I started having ovulation pains at 8:00 P.M. on cycle day #16. My worse pains occurred at about 9:30 P.M.. I was still somewhat tender the next day. The 2 ww begins.
I started to have a little bit of cramping around 7-8 dpo (days past ovulation). I didn't have a temp dip at this time, so I assumed we were on to cycle #5. I also started seeing what appeared to be EWCM (egg white cervical mucous) around 10 dpo. At 11 dpo I had EWCM tinged with pinkish/brownish mucous. Not a whole lot, but enough for me to see it on the toilet tissue. The cramping got worse. I was sure AF was arriving early! I had been having weird dreams for about a week now. They weren't about babies or children, but completely opposite, scary strange dreams! I felt somehing was up, so I bought a Confirm 1-step hpt (home pregnancy test) on 11 dpo. At first I didn't see any line forming on the test, and was convinced it was negative. I left the test on the counter and went to sulk. I went back to check the test in 45 minutes to an hour and saw the faintest line! It got a little darker, but still didn't look really pink to me. I was skeptical to say the least. I left it go at that and convinced myself that it was an evaporation line and that AF would soon be here.
12 dpo, I knew AF was coming, as my temp dropped almost to the coverline. I awoke with AF cramps and was prepared for her visit. She didn't show. Coarse it was still early for AF, she wasn't due until 14 dpo!
13 dpo, I again awoke with strong AF type cramps. But, there was a change! My temp went up 2 tenths of a degree! How strange! Usually my temps start to go down with AF's date approaching. I rushed to the computer to record my temp and to have a look at my chart. When I sat down in the chair, I leaned forward for something and noticed my bbs were swollen and very tender! That was also very strange for me. Usually my bbs become tender about a week before AF is due, then the tenderness subsides a day or two before AF arrives! I managed to make it through the rest of the day without driving myself crazy.
14 dpo, I woke with AF cramps again. OK, that does it, I'm re-testing! I woke DH (dear husband) and went to the store to pick up an hpt. I purchased an Answer one step 2 pack of tests. Came home and waited til DH went to work, as I didn't want him to see me in despair if it was negative. As soon as he left, I ran to the bathroom and took the test. Within 30 seconds the line turned a beautiful dark pink!!!!!!! I was indeed pregnant!!!!!!!! I continued to have AF type cramping for the next couple of days... 15 dpo my temp rose tremendously! I continue to have dreams, am very tired, and have been nauseated from time to time. This truly was a dream come true for us! We are so thrilled to have finally won this dreadful battle. I give all my thanks to God above for sending us such a wonderful donor, and giving me the strength to endure 4 more months of ttc (trying to conceive). Thank You Lord!!
With the end of our story, I would like to say.......through all of this, I have learned a lot, and I hold a special place in my heart for all who desire to love and nurture a baby. I will be praying that you all see ++++'s really soon!!
(It sounds as though my story ended happily.. but it didn't. I just haven't gotten to the bad part yet. Keep reading.)
My Earliest Pregnancy Symptoms
posted on January 19, 2001
I am still in shock!!! Anyhow, I really had no symptoms..... until about 7-8 dpo (as usual) I started having some AF type cramping. Then 10 dpo I had some real strong cramps like AF was coming early!!
I tested at 11 dpo and it was a very very faint positive. I woke up 12 dpo with strong AF cramps, thought for sure I would start! AND, 13 dpo my temp dropped almost to the coverline! So, I was sure AF was coming... still having strong cramps off and on..... I was so sure AF was coming that I took an advil liquid gel!!!!!!!! I thought, ok, AF will be here the next day, which is today.... I again awoke with AF cramps.... temp went up 2 tenths of a degree.....no spotting or anything.
OH! At 10 and 11 dpo I had enourmous amounts of EWCM tinged with pinkish/brownish stuff. Not much, just enough that I could see it... My boobs were not the least bit sore until today (14 dpo). When I got up this morning my bbs felt so swollen and very very tender. I then knew something was definately different. But I still felt like AF was coming! !! My lower back even hurts!! Anyhow, I took the test and you know the rest.... :) My boobs are still a little tender but were worse in the morning. Also, I had been having dreams every single night!!! I wasn't too suspicous (sp?) about them at first, but I'd say that's definately a sign! Strange dreams! :) About the coverline, if you publish your chart to the web, lifecycle automatically draws your coverline, but only on the web. If you go look at my chart, you will see a neon green line that goes all the way across the chart. That is the coverline. Your temps are suppose to stay above the coverline after ovulation and if you become pregnant. Here's the link to my chart: http://www.lifecyclesoft.com/cgi-bin/chart.pl/zdazp
One more symptom..... I was hoping I wouldn't get.... I feel a little queasy to my stomach from time to time.... like right now....but, it'll be worth it! But that didn't become noticeable until today.... 14 dpo... My due date, according to Lifecycle is September 29, 2001, my mom's birthday! I so hope this is the cycle for you!!! Good Luck and I'm sending you loads of BABY DUST!
My Posts At Fertile Thoughts.net Right Before I Found Out I Was Pregnant and Also The Excitement Afterwards
Good Morning! Well, my temp this morning, being two hours early was 98.2, which was up a point from yesterday. But I imagine if it was taken at my regular time it would have been a little higher than that. I adjusted the temp on my lifecycle chart, which makes it 98.6. I hardly believe the adjustment is right, but who knows? I had some pretty good cramps last night...and feel them again this morning. Almost like AF was about to come, but she/he is not due til Friday or Saturday! What's up with that?! I also have been having a lot of what looks like EWCM..... could just be another sign of AF. Will have to wait and see.... Tommorrows temp will certainly tell more. Hope everyone elses temp is up and raging this morning! Eve, fill me in!!
++++++++++++Thoughts! BethWV (Feeling much better than yesterday) My Chart:
http://www.lifecyclesoft.com/cgi-bin/chart.pl/zdazp?cycle=4#
Hi everyone! I tested yesterday (11 dpo) using a Confirm hpt. At first I saw nothing, then about 45 minutes to an hour later there was a faint line! It's probably an evaporation line right? My temp is still up, by the way. The instructions that came with the test said that if their were two visible lines, then you are probably pregnant! Well, theirs no doubt, there are two visible lines, but one is very faint. My son, grandmother, and husband all say there is a second line. Surely, an hpt wouldn't be so cruel to say that, and then there be a false positive!!! I will anxiously await to hear everyones comments concerning Confirm!!! BethWV cycle day #29 bbt: 98.2 adjusted again! Took temp two hours too early.... (98.6 adjusted) My Chart:
http://www.lifecyclesoft.com/cgi-bin/chart.pl/zdazp
Thursday, January 18, 2001 - 07:39 am -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Good Morning, I was awakened an hour ealier with strong AF cramps.... No show yet, but her appearance is almost imminent! Also, my temp dropped almost down to the coverline. I'm doing fine with this, since I really put a block against my emotions yesterday. I just knew that test was a false positive, or an aweful huge evaporation line. AF wasn't due until Friday or Saturday. I guess my luteal phase is going to play tricks with me now. Eve, I hope your temp is still up bud!!! I'm going back on the vitex as soon as AF makes her appearance.... ++++++++++++++Thoughts Everyone!!! BethWV
Thursday, January 18, 2001 - 01:38 pm -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hi Searge, I was looking at my bbt chart, and since I had the sinus infection from cycle days 12-16, wouldn't it be safe to say my coverline was 97.7 instead of 97.8?? Hey, if the temps want to drop, I'll just lower the coverline, right? No, I am serious. All my other temps are below the 97.7 except these days where I was sick with the infection... Also, if you look at my chart now, I adjusted the last three temps since I woke early all three days. Today I woke at 7:00 instead of 8:00... I think I adjusted them right. Also, do you think I would have such strong cramps if I were pregnant? I had cramps with my first, but that was 10 years ago, I can't remember how strong they were. I know I kept feeling as if AF was coming, but she never did... I'm hoping that is what is happening now, but I still have my doubts about that darn test!!!!!!!! I tried to call the company that makes the test, but the person I needed to speak with was out. I can't get to the clinic today, as my DH had to take his mother on some errands..... so I will just have to wait out the agony. I'll survive....and if AF doesn't show by morning, chances are she won't show at all!! Thanks Searge! My Chart:
http://www.lifecyclesoft.com/cgi-bin/chart.pl/zdazp?cycle=4
BethWV
Maura (24.218.224.39) Thursday, January 18, 2001 - 02:11 pm -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hi Beth! About your coverline -- the sinus infection didn't seem to affect your temps much...only cd 14 was 97.7, which is only one-tenth of a degree above your temps on cds 10, 13 16 & 18...I wouldn't change it, but if you did, it's only one-tenth of a degree anyway...really doesn't make a difference! I can only type a little bit...Sam is freaking out because he is tired and refuses to nap...but I wanted to get this to you.. Your temps still look great, so keep the faith! Maura
cycle day #30 bbt: 98.0 at 7:00 a.m. (I normally temp at 8:00, but have gotton into this awaken early routine!) My Chart: http://www.lifecyclesoft.com/cgi-bin/chart.pl/zdazp
Thursday, January 18, 2001 - 11:45 pm -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I thought I would check in one last time before going to bed. I've had all my normal symptoms before AF's arrival, including my huge pimple, short burst of energy, and the bump I get on my lip the day before she comes. I know, very strange, anyone else get that??? I mentioned it to a Dr. once and he literally pushed it to the side like I was crazy! I am hoping AF doesn't show tommorrow, but I'm prepared if she does... Will post an update as soon as I get out of bed. Take Care All! And Lots of ++++++++++++++++++++++++++Thoughts! BethWV
Friday, January 19, 2001 - 08:07 am -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Good Morning Everyone, I don't know what to think now....... my temp went up. I only woke up half hour earlier today, so I added one point. I still had some cramping when I woke up but no spotting or anything. I wonder if AF will just be late due to the antibiotics I took for 10 days...that has happened to me before. I wanted to do another test with FMU (first morning urine), but it's too late, I already emptied my bladder before I remembered... I guess second morning urine would be just as good at day #14 past ovulation right? I'll get a test later this morning. In the meantime, please take a look at my chart, and tell me what you think..... Eve, I hope your temp went up too!!! Keep hanging in there. It's not over til AF shows. +++++++++++++Thoughts! My Chart:
http://www.lifecyclesoft.com/cgi-bin/chart.pl/zdazp BethWV cycle day #30 14 dpo crampy bbt: 98.3 (98.4 adjusted)
Friday, January 19, 2001 - 11:45 am -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hi all, I am going to retest as soon as I have the next urge to urinate. I just bought a two pack of Answer hpt's. They had EPT but they were so close to being outdated that I was afraid to use them. I know the Answer says to read after two minutes but not to read a negative after 10 minutes, so that must mean there will be an evaporation line after 10 minutes. I will use a watch and time it!!!! Anyone else have any experience with Answer tests? I will post an update asap. Thinking Lots of +++++++++++Thoughts! BethWV
Oh my gosh!!!! I could hardly believe my eyes!!!!!! It not only turned positive, but turned positive immediately!!!!!!! I am ecstatic!!!!!! (sp?) Oh my!!! My 10 year old DS is dancing all over the house!!! Thank you all for such wonderful support!!! I aim to hang around and help everyone else, if it's ok with everyone. I hope this is catching and I hope it spreads to everyone!! Lots of baby dust to all!!!!! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* BethWV
momx5 (204.210.128.116) Friday, January 19, 2001 - 01:35 pm -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- CONGRATULATIONS BETH!!!!!!!! have been reading your posts and watching your chart this is absolutely fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!! i am so happy for u thru all the doubt u have had this is great.... wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! heres to u and a wonderful 9 months!!!!!! beckie deanna
Friday, January 19, 2001 - 01:43 pm -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Congratulations, Beth! I'm soooo happy for you Keep us up to date as things progress, OK? That way we can all live vicariously through you... ALM
Friday, January 19, 2001 - 01:46 pm -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- That's GREAT!!!! I'm so happy for you! You might be too ecstatic to think right now, but could you tell us again if you did anything that helped you along??? (Clomid, Vitex, cough syrup, legs up for 1/2 hour...you know all that "fun" stuff) If it worked for you, it might work for us!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Keep us posted on how it's going! +++++++ ALM Nicola
Friday, January 19, 2001 - 01:56 pm -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Congratulations Beth That is great news to hear especially as I will be starting clomid 100mg in a few days, it keeps me positive. Have a happy and healthy 9 months. Nicola Maura
Friday, January 19, 2001 - 01:57 pm -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- BETH! I knew it! I am so so so so so happy for you! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!! You should scan your result in! +++++++++++++++++++++++++! You better stick around! {{{HUGS}}} Maura
BethWV Friday, January 19, 2001 - 02:02 pm -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I would be glad to tell you everything!!! I am still one of the gang aren't I? I went through this long enough, that I have a special place in my heart for all of you. I did donor insemination at home. This was my 4th perfectly timed cycle. I did anywhere from 1-3 inseminations per cycle. I took a baby aspirin per night for 3 months, but I haven't been taking it recently. I CAME PRETTY DARN CLOSE TO COMPLETELY CUTTING OUT COFFEE!!!! I have been drinking de-caf and limiting that! I was a pot a day coffee drinker up until this month. When I did my insems I would prop my hips up on pillows and would lay there for an hour or longer after doing the insem. The last insem I did, I came to the couch where I could be more comfortable. My DS went with his aunt, so I was alone to do that! I lay on the couch I know for 2 hours watching Gomer Pyle!!! About 6 hours after doing the insem I started having really bad ovulation pains. I knew then that I timed it perfect, but still continued to doubt...... I also took quanifensin in huge amounts this cycle due to a sinus infection that I had. I was on antibiotics as well. I really think all that guanifensin thin and produced enourmous amounts of mucous!!! Of coarse I also drank lots of water, as it seems the guanifensin needs lots to thin and make more mucous. I also take Theragran-M..... and, even though I haven't been taking it since I went on the antibiotics, I took vitex the entire first half of this cycle!!!!!! So, maybe it balanced my hormones enough to help!! I quit taking it when I started the antibiotic.... you're not suppose to mix herbals with prescription drugs... That's about all I can think of. If anyone has specific questions, I'd be happy to answer all! OH! I had no symptoms whatsoever, EXCEPT: I started having AF type cramps from about 8 dpo and on.... I had them real bad from 10 dpo and still today have pretty strong cramps at times. Feels exactly like AF!!!!!!!!!!!! Have also had a slight headache from time to time, but nothing noticeable. A little queasy in my stomach off and on, but I thought it was just me. This morning when I got up my boobs were swollen and very tender!!! That and the temp rise (2 tenths of a degree) really got me wondering!!! I am still a little concerned... I've never miscarried before, coarse this is only my second pregnancy, so I will make an appointment with the doc real soon! Well, this is getting super long.... if there are anymore questions, just throw them at me. I'm here for all of you! ++++++++++++++++Thoughts to all!! BethWV
Danaks Friday, January 19, 2001 - 02:09 pm -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm so happy for you Beth!!! I knew it wasn't a false positive!!!! I'm almost to tears, I'm not having a great day.. But you are truely blessed, enjoy each and every second, Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEEEEAAAAAAAAA!!! Luv, Dana Meriweather
Friday, January 19, 2001 - 02:11 pm -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- WOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Wow, was I ever excited to see THIS post!!!!!! I am thrilled beyond measure for you, Beth!! (Which hpt did you use this time)? Meriweather
Julia NZ Friday, January 19, 2001 - 02:16 pm -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Just for your info as I know any tips can be helpful, the month I had success was the first month (this time round) that I'd put my hips on a pillow and stayed there for half an hour afterwards. It's also the first month I didn't go to the toilet afterwards, just straight to sleep (on purpose). Maybe that did the trick. Still thinking of you all and lurking on this board.
Julia Lin Friday, January 19, 2001 - 02:26 pm -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Congratulation Beth This is a great news. I am happy for you.
Lin ALM (216.34.119.17) Friday, January 19, 2001 - 02:44 pm -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thanks for all the info Beth and Julia. CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU BOTH!!!!! +++ALM
maria Friday, January 19, 2001 - 03:51 pm -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- CONGRATULATIONS Maria
JoyH Friday, January 19, 2001 - 04:18 pm -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Beth, what fantastic news! I'm always so inspired by ++++++++++++++'s. I've been following your charts and hoping like hell! That's the best news! Cheers Joy from Oz
EVE Friday, January 19, 2001 - 04:41 pm -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Oh cycle buddy I am SOOOOOOOOOOO happy for you! CONGRATULATIONS I just new one of us HAD to get pregnant this cycle and you definitely deserve it! I have tears streaming down my face as I am typing this but know there are tears of joy mixed in there for you too! Isn't it amazing how our temps mimicked each other and yet we had such different outcomes? I propped my hips up too for at least 1/2 hour. Oh well. Anyway, this is your spotlight--time to shine girl! WWWHHHHHHHOOOOOOOPPPPPPPIIIIEEEEEE! Hang around, OK? We love having you here! EVE
Lynne W Friday, January 19, 2001 - 04:42 pm -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hi Beth, I'm the "other" "Not so sure about my confirm results person" First of all, congratulations!!! I was waiting around for you to try another test before I did. You said you took your confirm test 3 days ago? I'm now 7dpt of 3 day embies. I know it's early, but can't help it. Anyway, my white line this morning almost looked like a raised line. That's why I was wondering if it could be the test. I looked at your scan of your confirm test and it looked to me like it have color. Mine has no color at all, just a white line. Anyway, I'll try the answer test next time. maybe I"ll pick one up tonight. Again, I"m happy for you and hope I am just as lucky Lynne W p.s, can I email you or your email me about home inseminations. I think that will be my next step. Thanks
Dana B. Friday, January 19, 2001 - 07:15 pm -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm a floater here, but have been around enough to know the "regulars". Congratulations!! Send some luck our way!!!!! Dana B.
rosie
Friday, January 19, 2001 - 08:51 pm -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Congrats Beth! I've been lurking here for a while and have been following your posts this week. I couldn't be happier for you! Best wishes! Rosie
carol Friday, January 19, 2001 - 10:38 pm -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- HEY BUUUUUUUUDDY!!! OMG!!!!!HOW WONDERFUL!!!!CNGRATULATINS BETH!!! Words can't even express the joy I'm feeling for you right now. I had goose bumps running up and down my spine as I read this post....and more now as I type. You've been through soooo much it's unreal and your websight is going to be such an inspiration to many people Beth. Thank you for posting your story and telling the EXACT DETAILS of your success. That's what I've been looking for in a success story. May you have a very healthy and happy 9 months to come. Of course we want you to stick around, WE NEED YOU!!! You've been there and back and can help so many people out.....and it wouldn't be the same without your insight. All My Love, Carol
A Not So Happy Ending...."2001"
I developed some problems with this pregnancy. (Maybe because my donor used an alternative semen shipper? I dunno) I Started spotting around 20 weeks. It continued and I went into premature labor at 24 weeks. My baby was born on June 10th, 2001 and doctors felt she was too premature/too small to fully treat, therefore she was given comfort measures at first, then later intubated. She then developed multiple complications and died 2 days after birth. I was diagnosed with a placental abruption. There was a lawsuit filed due to the doctor's delay in treating (refusal to treat) my baby, and it was settled out of court. I won't go into details.. it's all over now. I went through tremendous grief, major depression and had severe anxiety after all of this. Not to mention, a divorce.
In the latter part of 2006 I met a wonderful FERTILE man while playing an online game. We hit it off really great and spent hours upon hours on the phone talking. He flew from CA to WV to meet me in November of 2006. We fell in love :) Then in February 2007 he loaded his truck and drove across country to move in with me on Valentine's Day 2007. An icestorm chased him the entire journey here! Along with love, finally a happy ending to my story. I became pregnant once again. This time naturally, but the same timing applies. Our daughter Brookelynn was born December 28th, 2008. I had an uneventful pregnancy this time around. Yes, I was scared to death the entire pregnancy. I was sure something was going to go wrong again, but it didn't. So hang in there! Don't give up on your dreams! If you need encouragement, e-mail me! I've been there.. I know what it's like.. and I totally know how agonizing it can be trying to get pregnant, not to mention finally attaining your goal and losing it all. Here's what I have to show for my strength in pursuing my dream:
